Via Suburban Guerilla, yet the latest in a very long line of ever-scarier stories:

Republican lawmakers are drafting new legislation that will make marriage a requirement for motherhood in the state of Indiana, including specific criminal penalties for unmarried women who do become pregnant “by means other than sexual intercourse.”

According to a draft of the recommended change in state law, every woman in Indiana seeking to become a mother through assisted reproduction therapy such as in vitro fertilization, sperm donation, and egg donation, must first file for a “petition for parentage” in their local county probate court.

Only women who are married will be considered for the “gestational certificate” that must be presented to any doctor who facilitates the pregnancy. Further, the “gestational certificate” will only be given to married couples that successfully complete the same screening process currently required by law of adoptive parents.

In ten years, ye shall know them by the answer to, “Who the fuck did you vote for? You know, back when we still had elections?”

Apparently the H5N1 virus — commonly called the “bird flu” or the “avian flu” — is at Stage 5. You can read about the various stages at the CDC site, but here are the definitions of Stage 5 and Stage 6:

Phase 5: Larger cluster(s) but human-to-human spread still localized, suggesting that the virus is becoming increasingly better adapted to humans, but may not yet be fully transmissible (substantial pandemic risk).

Phase 6: Pandemic: increased and sustained transmission in general population.

You can read lots about the impact H5N1 pandemic is going to have and the lack of preparation we’ve done at Just A Bump In The Beltway and the H5N1 Blog. And then go out and buy lots and lots and lots of emergency supplies.

Between this and seeing what the response was to Katrina, all I can say is: Buckle up, ’cause there ain’t no one coming to help us.

Headline for this week’s issue: God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again. Plus: “Nation’s Politicians Applaud Great Job They’re Doing.”

These guys totally deserved a Pulitzer for their 9/11 issue. Looks like they’ve scored again.