Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

What RSVP means

Posted on February 22, 2003 Written by Diane

Look, I’m no devotee of Miss Manners—last year I didn’t send one thank-you note sent out after Sophia’s 2nd birthday party.

But now the invites are out for her 3rd birthday and little things like letting me know you’re coming are a bigger deal. Fia goes to preschool now and there are 16 kids in her class. (Somehow this works out to the proper number of kids-per-teacher every day, because every kid doesn’t go every day. Or something.) At this level, you invite everyone in the class. That’s how it works. If nothing else, it’s the way for the parents to meet.

Plus I sent invites to about, oh, 8 others, all of whom have at least 1 parent and possibly 2 in tow.

So far the only RSVPs—in case you didn’t know, RSVP stands for “Répondez s’il vous plaît,” which is “Please respond” in French—I’ve gotten have been the two or three people I’ve seen in person. No phone calls. No surprise responses. Nothing.

This is extremely frustrating. I’d really like to know how many kids are coming, how many adults are coming, and how much grub I need to score at Costco, you know?

Be nice to party planners. RSVP when they ask you to!

Filed Under: All About Moi

Impostor syndrome

Posted on February 20, 2003 Written by Diane

In a week or so Michael Gruber’s new thriller, Tropic of Night, is going to arrive in bookstores. It’s supposed to be a big book—huge press, lavish praise from the usual suspects like Publishers Weekly and Kirkus, Book of the Month selection. I haven’t read it, so I can’t tell you whether I think all the hype is warranted. When I get it I’ll report back.

No, the part I find interesting is that this is not Gruber’s first book, it’s just the first under his own name. (I happen to know this for the same reason Brian Dear does; we’re both on the Well, as is Gruber.) For years he has been writing legal thrillers for Robert K. Tanenbaum. I haven’t read any of those, either, but they’re supposed to be quite good. Evidently some readers guessed that Michael Gruber had quite a lot to do with them, because the acknowledgements page always said something like, “Thanks to Michael Gruber, without whom this book wouldn’t exist.” Which was, apparently, literally true. Gruber wrote all the novels, stem to stern, by himself, without editorial input or outlines or other interference from Tanenbaum. (Although evidently on the last few books Tanenbaum changed the policy of allowing Gruber to ship the manuscript to the editor, taking it first himself and probably having it retyped so as to appear it originated with him.)

Anyhow, a couple of years ago Tanenbaum quit being a lawyer to be a writer full-time. But he wasn’t writing the books. He’s also given interviews about what it’s like to be a successful novelist.

My question: what kind of cognitive dissonance that does cause? To have a public image completely based on a lie? I know that I have a hard enough time with Impostor Syndrome without actually, you know, being an impostor. Or do you figure that since your reputation as a great trial lawyer (which Tanenbaum was) is the reason for the book series and probably for the success of the books (at least initially), that it’s okay and you really are an “author”? I don’t know, I don’t pretend to know. I wonder, that’s all.

Yes, I know Tom Clancy doesn’t write his books either. And Steve “I’m smarter than you, I’m smarter than everyone!” Allen didn’t write his mysteries either. Any other impostors?

Filed Under: Books and Magazines

Today’s “Well, DUH” award

Posted on February 20, 2003 Written by Diane

In line at Starbucks today—you know, the place where we pay $3 for a cup of milk with a touch of caffeine thrown in—the woman in front of me complained to her friend that it cost fifty dollars to fill up her car. “FIFTY dollars! It was two dollars a gallon!”

Which means she has a 25-gallon car.

Which means she has a fucking tank. What car takes 25 gallons?

Man, she was pissed. Because cheap gas is her right, dammit.

Honey, you deserve those kinds of prices. Economize now: stay out of my Starbucks.

(Darin’s comment: “Just lugging around that much fuel is going to hurt your fuel economy.”)

Filed Under: Politics

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