Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Spring is in the air

Posted on March 4, 2008 Written by Diane

What’s been going on Chez Diane:

  • I set up a Google Alert with my name. Apparently I am a spokeswoman for the Connecticut Lottery spokeswoman and a labor market consultant. Which is so cool, ’cause I thought I was horrifyingly underemployed.

  • I originally spelled “Connecticut” as “Connecticult.” Ira Levin lives!

  • Spring has hit our household with a vengeance. We finally said, “It’s time,” and bought the kids their Serious Bedroom Furniture sets. They had been living with Ikea specials, which are great for little kids, who are quick on the draw with markers, stickers, and who knows what else. However, after seven years of doing their worst, the kids defeated the Ikea furniture decisively (and they used penalty kicks for good measure).

    What this meant was: We had to totally and completely take all of the crap out of both kids’ rooms—both the one they were sleeping in and the one meant to be Simon’s room but was mostly a storage area. We had to get Sophia’s room (formerly: both kids’ room) painted. We cleaned the rooms out and moved the new furniture in. Both rooms look fabulous. Sophia loves that she can stay up and read without keeping Simon awake. Simon loves having his own space (although it took him a night to adjust to being by himself).

    Our dining room, however, is a mess, stacked with boxes and boxes of kid-crap we have to go through and sort into keep and, more likely, throw out.

  • Darin also finally went through our boxes and boxes (and boxes) of comic books. We’re keeping one bookshelf worth, and tossing 7 or 8 book boxes full of comics. That’s a lot of comics. I called a local shop to ask about trade-ins for our comics, most of which are 10-15 years old, primarily Vertigo stuff. “Gotta be honest,” he said. “The trade-in for recent stuff is pretty dismal.” But…you’ll take ’em, right? ‘Cause this is 7 or 8 boxes full of comics and I really don’t have a garage to store them in.

  • Also part of spring: getting the termite killers in. Oy. This involves several days of them ripping up floors and putting stuff in the walls of the house and hammering on everything, it appears. Lots of hammering. I don’t know how I’m going to write with this nonsense going on.

  • Speaking of writing: I’ve begun the time-honored tradition of querying literary agents for my mystery novel. The first week, I queried three agents, as sort of a toe-in-the-water beginning. One agent rejected me immediately… and then another one asked for a partial! Whoo hoo! I thought. A 66% response rate per week! That rocks!

    Needless to say, I’ve queried more, and haven’t gotten one additional response. This is what I get for hubris. However, my March horoscope sounds very promising. Of course, their job is to sound promising. I’m keeping an eye out for developments on March 7.

  • In case you’re doing research on where, how, and who to query, here are some sites to check out:
    • Query Tracker: make lists of the agents you want to query, keep track of when you queried them, and how and when they responded.
    • Agent Query: listings of just about every reputable agent in the biz and what they represent.
    • Publishers Marketplace: who’s selling what to whom and for how much. Invaluable. Yes, it costs. You can subscribe to the free lunch newsletter, but access to PM’s archives is wonderful.

  • I don’t really use horoscopes to judge how well something is working out. I use Tarot cards.

  • I’m workshopping my new novel, an urban fantasy, at Critique Circle. It’s free to join, and so far I’m seeing thoughtful, intelligent critiques. If you don’t have a writing group but you want to try out your stuff on other people, check it out.

  • I don’t really use Tarot cards either. But boy, they’re pretty and fun and good for generating story ideas.

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Filed Under: All About Moi, Writing

This is what marriage is

Posted on February 28, 2008 Written by Diane

The other night, Darin and I headed to Oakridge Mall down in San Jose to a)go to Cheesecake Factory to eat their yummy new Fried Chicken Slider appetizer as our dinner and b)go to the movie theater and see the Spiderwick Chronicles, to see if it was okay for the kids. The sliders were indeed yummy, and then we went to buy tickets.

The movie showing was not up on the gigantic LED board.

We went to the ticket seller.

“We cancelled that showing,” he told us.

Then the family behind us walked up and said, “Don’t you have an 8:25 showing of Spiderwick Chronicles?” and he had to explain again.

I have never heard of a theater canceling a showing. Certainly not at one of these big mall theaters. Once again: I learn something new every day.

So we went to Borders, where we spent an inordinate amount of time and money on books (like we don’t have any around here already…). We started a basket and periodically walked by to drop a few new books into it. On one round, I excitedly showed Darin my new find.

Howdunit Book of Poisons (A guide for writers) by Serita Stevens and Anne Bannon.

He gave me a look.

“Hey, it could be useful!” I said.

He nodded. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

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Filed Under: All About Moi, Writing

The loudest sound in the world

Posted on February 8, 2008 Written by Diane

The loudest sound in the world
is the click-click
of the ballpoint pen
your husband uses
to mark changes in the text
of your finished novel
while he sits in bed
and you’re trying to sleep.

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Filed Under: Writing

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