Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Everything but the croissants

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Everybody who knows me knows I suffer from exhaustion. I’ve been to endocrinologists and have had my blood tested and got the meds for thyroid difficulties. For a couple of months when I first got on the meds, I felt fabulous (and started losing weight steadily, and started having more energy—not amphetamine-level energy, just “It’s 3pm and I’m still awake” energy). Then the effect wore off, even though my blood work showed that my thyroid levels were now normal.

Endless exhaustion makes for a boring day and even worse conversation with friends, so I don’t make it a topic of conversation constantly. A few times I’ve solicited ideas for things to try. One friend recommended acupuncture highly, and so I went in for a few treatments…which did, as far as I can tell, absolutely nothing. I’ve begun running again, and, while I have recovered some from my long running layoff, exercise still makes me tired. (Seriously, the next person who cheerily says, “Oh, isn’t exercise just the best for giving you energy!” is going to get slapped.)

My running bud Rob suggested two things, neither of which I really wanted to do: give up coffee (my only caffeinated beverage) and go on a low-carbohydrate diet. I don’t mind giving up starches, but I really, really like my desserts.

You can get to the point, though, where you’re willing to do and try anything. Which is why I now take several fish oil capsules a day, to get a lot of Omega-3, in addition to several other pills: amino acids, vitamins, etc. And I drink raw milk (1 cup every day, to wash down said vitamins and minerals and amino acids) and I’m avoiding white bread (not all that hard) and I have no sugar in the afternoon (harder). I still drink coffee but probably much less than I have been, and if my local coffee place doesn’t get Yrgacheffe in soon I’m going to find it easy to avoid making it at home.

I’m feeling a little better. I don’t feel like running a marathon come 3pm, but I haven’t curled up on the couch for a nap recently either.

I still like a croissant from Fleur de Cocoa now and again though. I wonder if I could get to the point where I punt that too.

What’s been up with me

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April’s been a fabulous month so far. Fabulous.

Well, except for the whole surgery thing, and I signed up for that.

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I have a literary agent for my mystery novel!

Many writers have posted minute by minute updates on their searches for agents. I haven’t done that, for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is: I much prefer to announce results than process. Also: a lot of the things these writers post are, in a word, foolish. Don’t keep posting who you’ve been turned down by. Don’t keep posting who your “dream agent” is and how everyone else is just completely unimportant. People (such as, I dunno, agents) read these things. Really.

Anyhow: I sent my first query February 18, my last one April 3. I sent out 25 altogether and still haven’t heard from 10. One reason you have to query a lot — emails get lost! It was a nerve-wracking process that involved a membership to Publisher’s Marketplace (do yourself a favor: get one and stop worrying about it) and research and discussion. Other sites that have been invaluable are QueryTracker and AgentQuery. Get yourself the premium membership to QueryTracker; the extras are worth it and you’re investing in a great site. (And the forums have a lot of great, helpful, fun people who will help whip your query into shape.)

I have to sign and fax off the agent agreement. Whee! Happy dance!

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We surprised the kids with a Spring Break trip to Disneyland. We stayed at the Grand Californian, which is their big fancy new hotel outside of California Adventure. All of the rooms at Grand Californian either come with two twin beds or bunk beds; we got bunk beds and the kids had the time of their lives. The week cost a fortune — Disney has perfected the art of attaching a vacuum to your wallet — but the four of us had a great time together.

We discovered Sophia is Ms. Roller-coaster Girl.

The best thing we did was go to the fireworks one night — wow, do they know how to do fireworks — and then go to a late night cruise through the Pirates of the Caribbean.

We knew the kids were as exhausted by the whole thing as we were when on Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon we said, “Kids, we’re really sorry, but we have to go back to the hotel room to lie down,” and both kids said, “Yay! Us too!”

I can see doing this kind of vacation again.

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I had shoulder surgery last Monday. My left shoulder has been bothering me for about a year, and in the past couple of months it’s gotten worse and worse. It was finally diagnosed for certain as “calcified tendonitis,” which means calcium was building up in the muscles and tendons over where the arm meets shoulder. The bone had also rubbed into the muscle, causing a little hole. Turns out lots of people I know have had this had used physical therapy to cure it, but I decided to get the surgery.

I had thought it was going to be a short procedure with little to no recovery time. I almost had it right before we left for Disneyland.

Ha!

Turns out I got general anesthesia for an hour and a half procedure. When I was done I was all bandaged up and brought home, still groggy. I don’t remember much of the first night, other than I was so seriously impressed with the cold therapy machine they sent me home with: you wrap the plastic end around the injured bit, you load the cooler with ice and water, and a motor forces ice water to the plastic end, meaning you have a cold wrap for hours and hours. That was pretty nice.

Tuesday was horrible: the pain meds wore off, and the pain meds I had (including Vicodin) didn’t seem to do anything for me. I was home and could barely do anything for myself, because not only could I not use my left arm, I basically couldn’t use my left side. At night I couldn’t get comfortable, and I was up until 3am crying about what a stupid decision I’d made to have this damned surgery, because I was in pain and uncomfortable and never, ever going to feel good again.

Wednesday I slept on the couch a lot.

Thursday the doctor removed the gigantic bandage on my arm, replacing it with 5 bandaids. While moving my arm too much still hurt like a mofo, I started to be able to do many more things.

Saturday I went to a wedding. I kept my left arm plastered to my side, but I felt pretty good all night, and not just because of the open bar.

I haven’t taken painkillers in days (actually, that’s not true, I took one last night, but I hadn’t taken one since Saturday before last night), and while I can’t raise my left arm up, I am able to do lots more.

When the three weeks of recovery is up, I think I’m going to be thrilled I had this surgery.

If I ever do anything like this again, I’m getting prescriptions for sleep meds so I can just sleep through the agony of Day 2, though.

Spring is in the air

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What’s been going on Chez Diane:

  • I set up a Google Alert with my name. Apparently I am a spokeswoman for the Connecticut Lottery spokeswoman and a labor market consultant. Which is so cool, ’cause I thought I was horrifyingly underemployed.

  • I originally spelled “Connecticut” as “Connecticult.” Ira Levin lives!

  • Spring has hit our household with a vengeance. We finally said, “It’s time,” and bought the kids their Serious Bedroom Furniture sets. They had been living with Ikea specials, which are great for little kids, who are quick on the draw with markers, stickers, and who knows what else. However, after seven years of doing their worst, the kids defeated the Ikea furniture decisively (and they used penalty kicks for good measure).

    What this meant was: We had to totally and completely take all of the crap out of both kids’ rooms—both the one they were sleeping in and the one meant to be Simon’s room but was mostly a storage area. We had to get Sophia’s room (formerly: both kids’ room) painted. We cleaned the rooms out and moved the new furniture in. Both rooms look fabulous. Sophia loves that she can stay up and read without keeping Simon awake. Simon loves having his own space (although it took him a night to adjust to being by himself).

    Our dining room, however, is a mess, stacked with boxes and boxes of kid-crap we have to go through and sort into keep and, more likely, throw out.

  • Darin also finally went through our boxes and boxes (and boxes) of comic books. We’re keeping one bookshelf worth, and tossing 7 or 8 book boxes full of comics. That’s a lot of comics. I called a local shop to ask about trade-ins for our comics, most of which are 10-15 years old, primarily Vertigo stuff. “Gotta be honest,” he said. “The trade-in for recent stuff is pretty dismal.” But…you’ll take ’em, right? ‘Cause this is 7 or 8 boxes full of comics and I really don’t have a garage to store them in.

  • Also part of spring: getting the termite killers in. Oy. This involves several days of them ripping up floors and putting stuff in the walls of the house and hammering on everything, it appears. Lots of hammering. I don’t know how I’m going to write with this nonsense going on.

  • Speaking of writing: I’ve begun the time-honored tradition of querying literary agents for my mystery novel. The first week, I queried three agents, as sort of a toe-in-the-water beginning. One agent rejected me immediately… and then another one asked for a partial! Whoo hoo! I thought. A 66% response rate per week! That rocks!

    Needless to say, I’ve queried more, and haven’t gotten one additional response. This is what I get for hubris. However, my March horoscope sounds very promising. Of course, their job is to sound promising. I’m keeping an eye out for developments on March 7.

  • In case you’re doing research on where, how, and who to query, here are some sites to check out:
    • Query Tracker: make lists of the agents you want to query, keep track of when you queried them, and how and when they responded.
    • Agent Query: listings of just about every reputable agent in the biz and what they represent.
    • Publishers Marketplace: who’s selling what to whom and for how much. Invaluable. Yes, it costs. You can subscribe to the free lunch newsletter, but access to PM’s archives is wonderful.

  • I don’t really use horoscopes to judge how well something is working out. I use Tarot cards.

  • I’m workshopping my new novel, an urban fantasy, at Critique Circle. It’s free to join, and so far I’m seeing thoughtful, intelligent critiques. If you don’t have a writing group but you want to try out your stuff on other people, check it out.

  • I don’t really use Tarot cards either. But boy, they’re pretty and fun and good for generating story ideas.