Nobody Knows Anything

Darin and I had our croissants and coffee at the local patisserie for breakfast* as we read the newspaper. Darin came across this item:

Affable everyman Seth Rogen has built an impressive and lucrative career playing doughy slackers in movies like “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and “Knocked Up,” but is he now tampering with his winning formula, important ingredients of which apparently are beer, weed and econo-size bags of Cheetos?

Because Rogen’s next role is that of a superhero (the Green Hornet), and for the part he has lost a bunch of weight, the very thing that made him such an unlikely leading man.

“Oh right,” Darin said. “He’s going to lose some weight and suddenly morph into George Clooney, only Jewish.”

Okay, I thought that was hilarious.

* We are so French and sophisticated, mais non?

• Who operates a leafblower on a late Sunday afternoon, when decent people are trying to nap? #
• @pierre But wouldn’t you agree that has a certain “truthiness” to it? <running away> (Darin Adler says hi, btw.) #

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An unbelievable amount of time ago, my friend Marilee said, “Hey, our little running club should do the Silicon Valley Half Marathon.” She ran the marathon last year, and Rob and Nina showed up to run half of it with her (unofficially, just for support). This year, since we haven’t been running nearly as much, she thought maybe the half might be more doable. One at a time we all signed up with her.

Well, um, okay.

This did not inspire us to run as much as it should have—man, have we slacked off from the hardcore bunch we were a couple of years ago. But a few Sundays ago Rob and I managed 10 miles and felt pretty good about it. And I’ve been working out 5-6 days a week for the past 2 months—lifting weights 3 days a week, doing cardio (usually running) 2-3 days—so I figured I wouldn’t kill myself. We all filled our iPods with the appropriate Podrunner mixes and headed out early this morning.

A while ago—probably back when I subscribed to Sports Illustrated and read things like The Year’s Best Sports Writing—I remember reading a story in which the writer recounts a run he had where a huge hulking Swede or German or Russian or something came up behind him and said, “We go faster, yes?” Because runners are crazy that way, the writer’s pace increased, trying to keep up with this guy. Periodically the Swede would say, “We go faster, yes?” And once again the writer would go faster, trying to keep up with this guy.

Today? Today, I was the Swede.

I have no idea how this happened. It certainly was not evident in any of the recent runs we’ve done together. A few weeks ago Rob and Nina completely dusted me on our usual morning run, to the point where I turned around early and went home, because I could not keep up with them. But today, for whatever reason, I kept going faster. I kept at a constant speed, instead of grossly slacking off like I usually do. In fact, I kept wanting to go faster, but my friends were like, Uh…Diane…slow it down.

Mind you, my idea of a temperate pace is probably somewhat slower than yours. Several people finished the marathon before my friends and I finished the half. But today my general speed was easily two minutes faster than my normal speed, and it would have been faster had I not kept slowing down to match everyone else’s speed. I didn’t once want to slow down, or walk, or feel like I was straining my legs at all.

This is definitely the most serious evidence I’ve had yet that my exercise regime has changed my body. Yes, there are the smaller jeans, but the feeling that I could, in fact, run at about 10 minute miles (I TOLD YOU I AM SLOW) with no ill effects was amazing.

Man, I can’t wait to get to the gym tomorrow.

Except I’m doing lower body weights tomorrow. Oh, THAT’S going to be fun.

Can anyone get Chevy Chase onto Weekend Update to say: “This just in: Barack Obama is still black!”

That should make it easier on the McCain/Palin crowd.

I won’t be able to watch the VP Debate—I’m going to be working over at the Foothill New Works Festival (seats still available!). If you’re going to be watching the debates and making a drinking game out of it, you need to prepare ahead of time, however. So here are a few ideas:

The Number One Rule: More important than having lots of coffee on hand, have lots of water available, to flush the alcohol out of your system. All coffee does is make you a wide-awake drunk.

Now, on to the game: