Nobody Knows Anything

Via Making Light, I found this link to The South-East Asia Earthquake and Tsunami Blog, which contains up to the minute info about the tsunami and recovery efforts.

Fortune points us to Coffee Kids’ emergency relief fund for Sumatra (remember that coffee you drink every morning? Sumatra’s not just a name). Coffee Kids is great. Pony up.

And just think—any money you donate TODAY to the relief efforts gives you a two-fer: you’re helping a really important cause, and it’s the last day of 2004 to qualify for tax deductions. So open those wallets.

(Yeah, I’m not all about the cooking at the moment. But I have nothing especially important or intelligent to say on the subject of wrenching horror. I haven’t even seen any of the pictures or videos from the scene, if you can believe it.)

I have been doing a lot of cooking. I never cooked before we moved back to Silicon Valley. Well, I may have put one or two things in the oven, but usually they came in tin trays—mix stuff myself? are you kidding? My mom never let me near the kitchen (still doesn’t, in her house). I still have to check The Joy Of Cooking every time I want to make a soft-boiled egg. What we did in Los Angeles was get a lot of delivery and go out to eat a lot. Periodically Darin would cook. It was all pretty easy.

Then in June 2003 we moved.

Darin was no longer at home come mealtimes—he was coming in from the office, which around 6pm adds 20 or 30 minutes to when he’s actually home. The kids are at the age where going out is way more hassle than it’s worth. And I can’t get delivery (mostly because no one delivers) or go out to eat all the time, the way we used to. We don’t have the money any more, for one thing. (That’s the funny sort of thing that happens when your mortgage doubles.)

So I’ve been cooking.

I started small, using extremely basic recipes. I’m sure Darin started to be afraid of coming home to yet another meal of baked fish & spaetzle & roasted asparagus, but I knew how to cook those things. I’ve added new things here and there. I’m not by any stretch of the imagination planning on opening my own bistro or anything, but I have gotten high praise indeed for many of my dishes from Darin and my brothers-in-law and our friend Rob, foodies all who seem to enjoy the dinners I put together.

And how did I accomplish this?
(more…)

So, I know I’m totally going to give you the idea that all my kids do is watch TV, and this is completely one hundred percent not true.

However, the TV they do watch gives me something to write about, so here it is.

Forget Lazytown (as though I could forget it—it’s my single most popular entry ever)—Sophia got bored with Lazytown because it’s been the same five episodes in rotation for the past two months. The show to watch is The Backyardigans. How much do I love this show? I am tempted to watch it when the kids aren’t around. I sing the songs as I do the dishes. There are only nine episodes so far and I have all nine on our TiVo. I force people just visiting our house to watch some of this show.

I love this show.

Tyrone, Tasha, Pablo, Uniqua, and Austin

The Backyardigans is a show about five friends—Tyrone the moose, Tasha the hippo, Pablo the penguin, Uniqua the ladybug, and Austin the kangaroo (actually, I’m not sure what Austin is, and he’s the Backyardigan we see the least of anyhow)—who get together every day and have some theme to their play: ghosts, Tarzan, knights and quests, Mounties, Vikings. They all take roles in their adventure that pretty well fit with their personalities. At the end, they repair to one kid’s house for snacktime.

In between, there’s singing, dancing, and general silliness. What’s extremely excellent about this show is that there’s stuff in there for grownups that’s not sneaky or salacious: it’s just on a level most kids aren’t going to find funny in the same way. For example, three Backyardigans are chasing the Yeti across the North Pole:

             TASHA
          We need kayaks to cross
          this water.

     They suddenly spy three KAYAKS on the bank of
     the river.

             TYRONE
          Well, that certainly is
          convenient.

That line cracks me up everytime.

The songs in this show are incredibly memorable. While doing the dishes I like to sing the songs the Vikings sing as their Viking ship rounds a very powerful whirlpool, “You’ve Got To Hold On Tight”:

You've got to hold on tight
Hold on tight
You’ve got to hold on tight
Hold on tight
You’ve got to hold on tight with all your Viking might.

Darin’s favorite bit is when they sing a limbo while trying to avoid the laser beams during a super-secret spy mission.

This show has reignited my love of musicals, which has been dormant for some time. (My insistence on musical-only writing music has been helped by the fact that I dug out our CD collection and ripped about 150 of them recently. Of course, I can’t find the one I’m looking for, Linie 1. Sigh.) I want to write a children’s musical, I’m so inspired by this show.

Anyhow: The Backyardigans is on Nick Jr. I highly recommend checking it out.

(Tyrone the moose is my favorite, by the way. In case you’re wondering.)

Update 2/16/05: Wow, lots of comments here! This entry is listed pretty high on Google when you search for “The Backyardigans” so I’m going to assume someone from Nick Jr. has found it. (Hi there! More Backyardigans episodes, please!)

A number of people have posted asking about Backyardigans-themed birthday supplies and other merchandise. As far as I’ve been able to find on the Web, there isn’t any! It might not be licensed yet or might not have gotten to stories yet. All I can say is: Hurry it up! You’ve got lots of customers waiting. If anyone does know of legit Backyardigans stuff, let me know and I’ll put it on this page.

I found a number of Backyardigans songs on LimeWire. I don’t know where they’re from, since a few things tell me they’re not recorded right off of the show. If the production company wanted to put out a CD with each and every song from the show on it, they’d have a bestseller. I think there are plenty of parents out there who wouldn’t mind putting that music on for their kids, and I’d rather pay royalties to the songmakers!

Evidently a new bunch of episodes will start airing in a week or two. I can’t wait…and I think the kids are excited too. All I can say is, keep ‘em coming! More! More!

Update 8/11/05: The Backyardigans’ eponymously named CD is now out! The Backyardigans has 19 great songs on it, although it doesn’t include my personal favorite, “You’ve got to hold on tight.” I had downloaded some of these songs from Limewire, but I’m much, much happier having the actual CD in my hot little hand now.

Update 1/28/06: Wow. This entry has 747 comments!

There are a couple of Backyardigan DVDs out now, which means you don’t have to keep every episode on your TiVo any more.

The Snow Fort: Contains “The Snow Fort”, “The Yeti”, “Knights Are Brave and Strong”, and “Secret Mission”.

It’s Great To Be A Ghost: Contains “It’s Great To Be A Ghost”, “Monster Detectives”, “Key to the Nile”, and “Pirate Adventure”.

Polka Palace Party: Contains “Polka Palace Party”, “Heart of the Jungle”, “Viking Voyage”, and one I haven’t seen before — having tea in the Gobi desert. (Maybe it hasn’t aired yet?)

Wolfgang, hie thee to Palo Alto and make it schnell.

If Spago Los Angeles is a 9 on a 10 scale (surpassed in our experience by Patina, which is a true 10 on all fronts), then Spago Palo Alto is a 6.5 and that’s not acceptable at the prices. The restaurant is really lacking on all fronts: presentation, service, and food. The food was good, no doubt about it, but it wasn’t superlative the way it was in LA.

And the service… Okay, when they give us the second basket of bread (cold bread, I would like to point out—consider a bread warmer, guys), they should have just put down a second plate of butter. I should not have had to ask for a plate of butter. I certainly should not have had to ask twice. And that wasn’t the only thing we had to ask for twice that evening.

The food was good, but who cares? We won’t be going back. The Bay Area has too many great restaurants to waste time on a lesser experience.

Why does Pooks send me this stuff? I don’t know—probably because I’ll put it on my blog. Anyhow, she sent me a link to a post on Citizen Skein, which discussed and shows pictures of breasts, uteri, and other, uh, interesting figures done completely out of knitting. I guess it’s not work-safe, but you know: it’s knitting.

The short version is: terrible, but hilarious.

As I said to Darin in the car last night, “In two days I’m not going to be able to tell you anything about the plot of this movie.” And here it is, the morning, and I realize that I was way, way optimistic with the whole “two days” thing. The gang from Ocean’s 11 reunites to do another job, because Andy Garcia, the guy they ripped off from the first movie is really, really angry at them and wants them to give back the money they stole. “But your insurance paid for it!” is repeated a couple of times.

The gang ends up in Europe—first Amsterdam, then Paris, then Rome—pulling off fantastic heists and competing with another thief who goes by the handle the Night Fox. (Had to ask Darin what the name was. I’d already forgotten it.) The Night Fox dares them to steal a really well-protected treasure; if they succeed, he’ll pay off their debts, and if he succeeds, they have to admit he’s the best thief. Also, they have to go to jail.

Danny Ocean takes the bet. Much hilarity ensues.

Funniest line: “We can’t train a cat that fast.”

Most entertaining person in the movie: I am totally a Matt Damon fan now, and I cannot believe that I even typed those words. But he’s been so good in everything I’ve ever seen him in, and this is no exception. So, yeah, having Matt Damon in a movie is a total plus for me. Just in case you’re casting or anything.

Most disappointing person in the movie: What was Don Cheadle doing in this movie? I don’t mean, Why did he sign up for this movie even though they had nothing for him to do, because if that were the criteria, at least 9 of the 12 shouldn’t have signed on. No, I mean, “What is that verkakete accent?” Oy. Dude. Stop it already.

There was one aspect of this movie that Darin found, in his word, “odious.” It has to do with the big surprise in this film, so if you don’t know what that is or want to know, don’t read this next bit:

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The fawning attention to celebrities throughout the movie really, really annoyed Darin. And since the entire point of a movie like Ocean’s 12 is to watch celebrities, the movie is falling all over itself to say, Aren’t we special?

The major heist toward the end of the movie relies on the whole celebrity thing to an obnoxious degree. Since most of the gang ends up in jail, the remaining members have to come up with a new plan to steal the treasure. And since Danny Ocean’s wife is almost a dead ringer for Julia Roberts—

No, really. That’s the plan. Julia Roberts’ character imitates Julia Roberts. Of course, the first person she runs into in the Rome hotel she’s staying in is Bruce Willis, who decides to hang out with his old friend and attend the art exhibit with her.

So, we have movie stars playing regular people and movie stars playing movie stars, and somehow we’re not supposed to notice they’re all frickin’ movie stars or something.

Personally, it was clear to me that they got to that part in the script and said, “Well, how the fuck are they supposed to get into the museum?” and someone else said, “Well, how about if…” And after the fifteenth margarita that idea sounded hilarious.

SpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoiler

I’m not sure I can recommend this movie to anyone, especially if you haven’t seen or didn’t like Ocean’s 11. Ocean’s 12 is definitely not a good movie. But there are some quite hilarious bits in it, and I had a good time.

Darin really wanted me to see Kill Bill, Vols 1 and 2—I hadn’t had a lot of interest in them when they were out in theaters, mostly because I’m not as sanguine (heh) about on-screen violence as I used to be, and because I’d heard that several times during the movie a child watches their parent die in hideous and graphic ways. NO THANK YOU. Stuff that wouldn’t have fazed me for a second pre-Sophia makes me crazy and start crying now.

Darin saw both movies in the theaters and loved them, though. He said I wouldn’t be affected by the parent deaths in the way I thought I would be. “They’re the best kung fu movies ever,” he said.

“This does not mean a whole hell of a lot to me,” I told him.

He brought the movies home and we decided that we would actually spend some time together (instead of me writing (which I’ve been doing of late) and him playing World of Warcraft (major, major friggin’ time sink of his of late). We watched Vol. 1 Sunday night and while I did have a lot of problems with several scenes, I agreed that the movie was so over the top in so many ways that the scenes with children bothered me but not in the make-me-retch (no, really) way I was expecting. Then we sat down to watch Vol. 2 last night. Darin was right: definitely a different movie (several orders of magnitude fewer bodies, for one thing), though it’s clearly an integral part of the whole story. The way Tarantino jumps around in time is extremely clever and almost novelesque: there are lots of scenes you already know the outcome to, but you’re hooked wondering, How’s she gonna get out of this one? Really good filmmaking, I think.

So, we’re watching Vol. 2 last night and after four hours of mayhem, murder, confrontations, kung fu training, standoffs, and a blistering pace toward the inevitable, we’ve finally gotten to the big confrontation where the Bride is going to kill Bill (totally not a spoiler), and they’ve got their weapons out, and here it is, we’re going to find out —

The DVD machine dies.

Totally. Freaking. Dead.

I looked at Darin. He played with the remote control a little. Power-cycled the player a few times. Felt the box to see if it had overheated.

Dead.

“There’s, like, ten minutes left in the movie,” he said. “Do we have any other DVD players? Besides the computer?”

“I’m going to bed now,” I said.

I still don’t know how the movie ends. I guess I will have to break down and watch it on the computer (unless Darin is planning on replacing our DVD jukebox—capacity: 300; currently holds: about 200—soon). But I feel as though I should savor this feeling of suspension, forever trapped in the confrontation.

And lives up to his/her handle each and every day:

When O’Reilly declared that “overwhelmingly, America is Christian. And the holiday is a federal holiday honoring the philosopher Jesus,” all the Rude Pundit could wonder is where the fuck’s Plato’s holiday? Or Kierkegaard’s? Or perhaps John Locke’s, considering his influence on, say, the actual creation of the country? And on Christmas, when people are heading to work at Wal-Mart and Denny’s and all the other places that stay open so that Bill O’Reilly can have a merry Christmas, we’ll all be thankful that even more overwhelmingly, in this America, cash, not Christ, is king. Is that insulting enough to O’Reilly’s “majority”?

Those wacky Scandinavians are at it again! Ladies and gents, the Purple Sumo Hippo.

Was this advertising something? What is Kozo?

(Via Sarah)

I’m sitting here at the new Coffee Society at the Pruneyard (which replaces the former occupant of this spot, the somewhat run-down Campell Coffee Roasting Company) trying to do some writing, but my attention keeps getting stolen by the guy in front of the Camera 7 theater. He’s dressed as a Greek warrior — he has a silver helmet with plumage on top, a red cape down to his calves, sandals, a metal breastplate, a sword, a shield. I’m sure he’s supposed to be a Greek warrior, because on the shield is written ALEXANDER in Greekish letters. Periodically he holds out his sword and salutes passers-by and cars driving by him.

Not a job I’d want. It’s 60 degrees F out — he’s got to be a little cold. And who’s going to go see Alexander because some guy is dressed up as a Greek soldier? Who thought this one up?

Anyhow. Good to have Coffee Society here, with its cleaner lines and better coffee than the previous occupant. Parking was a bitch today, though — oh, that’s right, the shopping season has started, hasn’t it? Ah well. Back to work.