Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Rerouting the plans

Posted on June 14, 2005 Written by Diane

It was just last night, I think, that I was IM’ing with a friend and I said, “Next week Simon starts going to school for 3 days extended (until 3pm) and Sophia starts swim camp! I won’t know what to do with my free time! But I’m willing to find out.”

You know the old saying: “Man plans, God laughs.”

Today I got a call from the preschool telling me that Sophia had broken her arm.

It happened on the playground. I imagined she had fallen off the monkey bars or something, but no: she had been sitting at the Art Table, and as she was getting off the bench she slipped and fell on her arm. She was being very brave when I came to get her—no tears, stoically holding her arm covered in ice packs. She had cried, she told me. All of the teachers were quite amazed at how brave she was being. I took her to the doctor and from there to the pediatric orthopedic doctor. She started to lose her composure, though, after she had finally gotten the X-rays (“Like Curious George got when he went to the hospital”) and we had to wait in the exam room.

“I want to go home now,” she said. “I wish I’d never hurt my arm.”

The ortho tech came in to give her a splint (she’ll have a splint for a couple of days and then get a cast on Thursday), and can I tell you how worrisome it is to have an ortho tech who is a dead ringer for Ian McShane as Al Swearengen wrapping up your daughter in gauze? (I’m totally serious. He didn’t have grease in his hair, and he didn’t have the little beard under his lip, but other than that: yup.)

So now she’s on the couch, watching “Dragontales” with her arm propped up on a pillow (to keep it above the heart). She’s eating a couple of cut-up apples and cheese sticks (“because that’s all I can eat now, Mommy”).

She’s upset because she’s not going to be able to do all the swimming she was planning. I’m upset because my little girl got hurt. I assume that after a day or so we’ll adjust to the new regimen. Of course, she can’t go to her last day of preschool tomorrow, because they’re having “Water Days,” and she can’t get wet.

The weather’s finally gotten extremely hot around here, and she can’t get her splint (and in a few days, her cast) wet. Neat.

I’ve never broken anything (knock on nearest wood sprite)—does it affect your outlook on life? She has an adventuresome spirit and I hope she’s just as energetic after this little incident as she was before. At the moment she’s even lost her sense of humor.

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Filed Under: All About Moi

What I’ve been working on

Posted on June 12, 2005 Written by Diane

At the moment I hate Movable Type in a way I have never, ever hated it before. I would move to WordPress in a second, except I cannot figure out how to use MySQL on our server (our server runs Mac OS X, in case anyone out there can give me a clue what to do to create a MySQL database). All I wanted to do was install a little doohickey to show my current word count, and after saving and rebuilding the Main Index about 3000 times, what I ended with was a ridiculously bollixed up thermometer, when all I wanted was:

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
50,295 / 80,000
(62.0%)

(Damn. Still messed up! I don’t know what the deal is.)

One of my biggest problems with doing anything on our server at the moment is that when I ask the IT guy for our server for any help, he responds with something like, “Does this have anything to do with OpenSource???” Unless I get an account on #irc, I have to figure this out myself.

Anyhow. I’m very frustrated, because I really dislike Movable Type at the moment and there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about it.

§

I have continued writing, although as you can see from my word count that I haven’t made significant progress since November. Well, I have—it’s just that I rewrite so severely I haven’t managed to move too far upstream.

I have to stop doing that. I need to finish. If for no other reason than at this point, to prove to myself that I actually can. I still wonder if there’s some marvelous secret out there that I’ve never found out.

I’m not even trying to write the Great American Novel. I really just want it to be entertaining. And coherent. Sigh.

§

On Wordplay, Terry Rossio has often talked about using index cards and a corkboard to outline his projects. Pin the index cards to said board, see how it all falls out. Easier to rearrange index cards than gigantic chunks of text.

I bought the corkboard, but I bought it so long ago I may have been childless. Never used it. Wasn’t even sure how to use, really—am I just supposed to lay everything out in order? That doesn’t tell me much about the structure, does it?

I knew I was really, really frustrated with my rewrite of my novel when I whipped out the index cards and the corkboard. Because at the moment, I’m ready to try anything. I feel like I’m the only person in the world who can’t do this.

corkboard.jpg

(This is actually the board from the middle of May, when I originally took this picture and wrote this entry. Things have changed somewhat since then.)

Before even approaching the board, I arranged the cards in the best order I could. And it didn’t take that long to see the problem. It’s an Act II problem, of course.

If I ever figure out a way to make Act II my friend, I am going to make millions of dollars. Because everyone (with the possible exception of Toni, who has been heard to claim to have fewer problems with Act II than Act I) has problems with Act II. It’s the Sahara Desert of the story.

A popular summary of story structure is:

  • Act I: Get your hero up a tree.
  • Act II: Throw rocks at your hero.
  • Act III: Get your hero down out of the tree.

Okay. Throw rocks = Complicate things. But not randomly: the complications have to be story-related, of course. And it can’t just be “one damn thing after another,” they have to make things much, much worse for your hero. Within the boundaries of the storyworld.

I broke down and arranged my story in the 8 sequences of the USC story structure. (This division works out quite well with a screenplay: each sequence has roughly 15 pages, and a 15 page chunk is a heck of a lot easier to tackle than a 120-page monster, fer shur. And of course the eighth sequence isn’t going to be as long as the others, because these days you end the movie and get out—no long wrap-ups for our audiences, no sirree.) It’s clear as day where the pacing in my story falls apart, where I’m plot heavy, where I need to figure things out some.

One thing that was bugging me was the end of Act 2. It wasn’t strong enough, the way I had it, and I really needed something to send me off into the final wrap-up of Act 3.

One “tip” I heard somewhere—USC? Wordplay?—is that the end of Act 2 is the alternate ending of the movie: that is, if your movie ends happily, the end of Act 2 is where you show us how things would end if they ended badly. (And likewise, if your movie ends tragically, give us the happy ending here.) It’s where the lovers in the rom-com are separated or realize they can never be together or whatever. In Macbeth, it’s where he realizes that he’s safe, he’s gotten away with it, because no one can ever defeat him—only a man not born of woman can beat him and hey, no such thing. (Boy, does he have a surprise coming!)

§

Anyhow. I have vowed to myself to send my work out this year, start racking up the responses. I definitely have to get this one out the door before November, because I am so looking forward to doing NaNoWriMo again.

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Filed Under: All About Moi, Writing

How time flies

Posted on May 28, 2005 Written by Diane

Today I went to get a manicure and pedicure with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law (light pink on my fingernails, sparkly blue on my toenails, thanks for asking) and I heard the woman across the aisle from me say she had just bought a house in Sherman Oaks. “Oh!” I said. “We just moved from there.” (Okay, it was two years ago. Whatever.) “Where is your house?”

She shrugged and said, “I’m not really too sure of how things are laid out there. It’s at Valley Vista and Crisp Canyon.”

Huh.

I had no clue where that was.

I asked her for a few things near there—she said she’d stayed at the Sportsmans Lodge, which is fairly near my old house—but she couldn’t really tell me specifically where it was.

Now, after I got home I looked it up on Mapquest, and indeed, Crisp Canyon Road is on the other side of Sherman Oaks from where I used to live. (I used to live near Valley Vista and Murietta, in case anyone cares.) So it’s not that surprising that I didn’t know it off-hand. But I got a shock from realizing, Wow, I really don’t know that area, and I’m going to lose whatever I did know about it.

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