Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

You want scary? I got scary

Posted on March 16, 2004 Written by Diane

I drove Darin to work the other day and ended up listening to Fresh Air with Terry Gross as a result. She was interviewing Tim LaHaye, one of the authors of the apparently unreadable Left Behind series, which has reportedly sold 58 million copies. (Slacktivist is a better person than I, subjecting himself to those books.)

You have got to listen to this interview; it is unreal.

If LaHaye and Co.—and their millions of readers—actually believe this stuff…I am aghast. I really didn’t know this kind of nonsense was out there. In the interview, LaHaye spouts what can only be generously termed “garbage” about Christianity and the Apocalypse and the End of Days. And this is, I am sure, the sanitized version, suitable to share with the “unbelievers” on NPR.

These guys want the world to end. They want us all to die. Of course, they’ll be fine, having been saved in the Rapture.

Other than the obvious warm fuzzies of superiority, what do these people get out of believing this shit? And that’s what it is: shit designed to turn off the critical thinking, to turn believers into bleating, fleeceable sheep who pray for death—not theirs, of course, but the evil ones, like Catholics and Jews.

Gross had on another author after LaHaye, Gershom Gorenberg, author of The End of Days: Fundamentalism and the Struggle for the Temple Mount. What Gorenberg had to say about the Left Behind series, along with Fundamentalism in general, made me immediately sign up to get his book at the library. I’ll report back after I’ve read it.

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Filed Under: Politics

How whitebread am I?

Posted on March 16, 2004 Written by Diane

I read this bit of gossip

WHICH foppish fashionista renowned for his elaborate outfits was literally caught with his pants down at Boy George’s recent birthday bash? The frisky fop was receiving a sex act from three young men at the same time

and I find myself wondering: is the fashionista in question getting one sexual favor from three men at the same time (each getting their licks in, so to speak), or is each providing a different sexual favor? In which case, how does that work? Do you have to be a gymnast? Do you have to plan ahead to figure out who’s going to be doing what? I’m not getting a visual on this, having never gone in for the group grope thing.

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Filed Under: Questions

Kids TV Quiz

Posted on March 11, 2004 Written by Diane

It’s morning and I’m letting the kids watch one more half hour of TV before we head to the gym. And in the interest of using this time effectively, here is the Kids TV Quiz (Parents Edition):

  • Steve or Joe? Oh please, is there even a choice? Steve, all the way. Steve is goofy and fun. Joe is just useless.
  • Caillou: whiny kid or accurate picture of a 4-year-old? Um…are those choices opposites? Accurate. Although I’d say he’s younger than 4; I have a 4-year-old around and she could kick Caillou’s ass.
  • Wiggles: hit or miss in your house? We have never seen the Wiggles.
  • Po or Laalaa? How could I possibly choose? I guess I’d have to go with Laalaa, because she was Sophia’s favorite for a while.
  • From which show you find yourself humming or singing the theme song most often? Dora the Explorer
  • Dora: explorer stars or no? Ugh, what an obvious marketing ploy. But the stories are more varied now.
  • Most annoying commercial aimed at kids? Ha ha! Trick question! Ti-Vo! Ti-Vo! Ti-Vo! Also, if we don’t zap the commercials fast enough, we’ve taught Sophia to yell, “Oh no! Yucky commercials!”
  • Best activities has kids TV inspired your kids to do? Sophia wants swimming lessons because Caillou learned to swim.
  • Worst activities has kids TV inspired your kids to do? Well, this isn’t kids TV, but…ever since seeing cheese puffs in Toy Story 2, Sophia asks for them all the time.
  • Nick Jr. or Noggin? I have TiVo; I haven’t the slightest idea of what shows are on which channels.
  • What do you watch on the Disney channel? I avoid the Disney channel with a passion. TiVo taped Buzz Lightyear for us, and since Buzz is Simon’s favorite character, we sat down to watch it. Not only was the show awful, but I had to keep my finger on the FF to zap the thousands of commercials. The Disney channel is too much work with no payoff.

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Filed Under: Kids, TV

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