Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Cup-cookies

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You know what hurts? Realizing, after you’ve mixed the mix and baked the cupcakes, that the recipe calls for self-rising cake flour and Softasilk isn’t self-rising and what you now have are not so much cupcakes as flat, tasteless little cup-cookies.

(Yeah. Again with the self-rising flour. Only this time it’s self-rising cake flour. Would it have killed Nigella to include the measurements for non-self-rising cake flour and baking powder and salt?)

You know what hurts worse? When the daughter you’ve made said cupcakes for says, “The bakery makes better cupcakes.” Okay, sure, she’s right, but it still hurts.

(Btw: Sophia is going to be FIVE tomorrow. FIVE. I cannot believe this. Didn’t I just bring her home from the hospital? Best saying I’ve heard on this phenomenon of life with kids: “The days are long and the years are short.” Boy howdy, is that the truth.)

Choose your font wisely

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When designing the logo for your store, choose wisely. (Warning: contains objectionable language. For those of you that have squeaky-clean workplaces and/or minds.)

One of those weeks

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Ever have one of those weeks when everything seems off to you, when you get annoyed by everything, where people you’ve known for a million years seem to be absolute strangers, when you want to correct everyone’s behavior and explain to them the psychological underpinnings of what they’re doing (and not in particularly flattering ways, either), when you just feel as though you can’t do anything and if you try to do something you’re doomed not just to failure but to Massive, Spectacular Failure?

Nah. Me neither. But if I were having one of those weeks, this would be it. Urk. I should go make some hot chocolate.