I had heard so much about the ultraviolence in Sin City I warned Darin that, if I couldn’t take it, I would leave and go to the bookstore and wait for him there.

I did not, in fact, end up at the bookstore, which is not to say Sin City isn’t violent. It is, extremely violent. Errr…cartoonishly violent. Sin City is based on a comic book by Frank Miller, and its heritage shows in every frame: if you are into stylized visions in movies, this is your flick.

There are three main stories told in the movie: Bruce Willis as a cop one day before retirement set to find the abductor of a little girl; a completely unrecognizable Mickey Rourke as a lowlife out to avenge the murder of the only woman who ever showed him kindness; Clive Owen as a murderer who gets involved in a gang war between the whores and cops. Corrupt politicians (hell, everyone’s corrupt in this world), cannibalism, sleazy clergy, Uzis out the wazoo, child molesters, vintage cars. And a visual style that does not stop for one frame of the film. The violence is toned down somewhat because the blood is shown either in shades of red we don’t associate with blood, in neon yellow, or in white. (As I told Darin after the movie, that was a smart move: that much blood in movie-blood-red would just have looked ridiculous, not horrible.)

But sitting here two days later I would have to say I can’t recommend the movie. It’s unending violent pornographic nihilistic cynicism for no purpose that I can fathom. To be cool? Because that’s just how Frank Miller looks at the universe? In which case I say, Wow, dude, so sorry. All the men are violent thugs, all the women are violent, thuggish whores (who dress in nothing but fishnet, the better to show off their over-aerobicized asses). What is the point of wallowing in this? It’s “gritty” and “hardboiled” for no other purpose than to delight in the evil, over-the-top excesses that every single character gets into.

I mean, at least with A Clockwork Orange I felt like there was a point. With this, the only point is that writer-director Robert Rodriguez (in close collaboration with Miller and “guest director” Quentin Tarantino) just wanted to show off a live-action comic book.

Darin and I were at dinner tonight:

            DIANE
        Did you watch the Hitchhiker's trailer?

            DARIN
        It looks great. I don't know why you 
        said you needed to plan your life around 
        April 29, though. It says May 6.

            DIANE
        It said April 29.

            DARIN
        No, it didn't. Who's in it?

            DIANE
        Mos Def plays Ford Prefect. I don't 
        know who plays the other roles though. 
        Like the rock star. What's his name?

            DARIN
        Hotblack Desiato. Something like that. 
        But he doesn't show up until Book 2.

            DIANE
        Oh. Well, they're at some rock concert 
        in the trailer.

            DARIN
        No, they're not.

            DIANE
        Yes, they are.

Beat.

            DARIN
        Where did you see the trailer?

            DIANE
        It was some weird URL. I figured the one 
        at the Apple site had better bandwidth...

            DARIN
        You didn't check the link, did you?

            DIANE
        Uh oh. I figured it was just the same one.

            DARIN
        No. Evidently not.

There are in fact three trailers now available. The one I had seen was (and was attempting to point y’all toward) was Trailer 3. I had seen it at a site that evidently got a hold of it a little ahead of time (when the release date was still April 29 and not whatever they’ve decided upon now).

So now go watch the trailer.

One of the seminal moments of my young life—possibly as a freshman in high school—I found a book at the local B. Dalton’s that said, “Don’t panic!” in large, friendly letters. I picked it up and laughed my butt off (I didn’t say “ass” yet) and kept reading parts of it to people at school, all of whom thought I was an utter nincompoop with a weird book. So be it.

Well, the BBC radio series-cum-novel-cum-TV-series is now a movie, and despite the fact that we all know all of the jokes by now, we’re going. I have now planned my life around April 29, 2005. (Watch the trailer; you’ll get the joke.)