Darin and I discussed where to go for Date Night. “I know, I know,” he said, “Pirates.”

“Actually, I’d rather see Who Killed the Electric Car?”

(Pause.) “Really? So would I.”

So we went. And when we walked out, Darin said, “I’m really beginning to hate cars.”

Who Killed the Electric Car? is the story of GM’s experiment with a car that ran on electricity, the EV-1. The people who made it, the people who drove it, and the people who regulated it in (and out) of existence. There are EV-1 fanatics, who begged and pleaded with GM to be allowed to keep their car, there are engineers who are working on making electric auto technology ever more fabulous, and there are the automotive/petroleum company spokesmen who simply ooze, well, slickness as they lie, and lie, and lie.

California, the largest market in the nation, passed a law saying a certain percentage of cars on California roads had to be zero emission by 2000. GM, which had developed an electric car, turned it into a consumer item, the EV-1. They were evidently hard to get, because GM didn’t want customers to have them: they wanted to fight the legislation instead. Eventually the California Air Resources Board (CARB) caved, seduced by the promise of hydrogen fuel cells, and GM (and the other auto makers, who’d jumped into the market) killed their electric cars. They didn’t just pull the leases and take the cars back, they crushed and shredded them, wanting to ensure that they never got out there again.

The film goes through a list of suspects in the murder—consumers, Big Auto, Big Oil, the consumers, CARB, hydrogen fuel cells (which, if you don’t already know, are a gigantic chimera that are going nowhere fast), batteries. And the answer is pretty much a Murder on the Orient Express solution (with the exception of one suspect, which hilariously gets a “Not Guilty”).

At the end there’s an upbeat, optimistic look at the future, with hybrids and plug-in hybrids that get 125 mpg and other technologies coming down the pike. Which, after the depressing movie we’d just watched, was a nice way to end it. (Not very realistic, of course: the answer to our problems is not more single-passenger vehicles, but a start at any rate.)

The bit from an old newsreel about how the discovery of new oil fields in Iraq will bring that nation so many good things was hilarious.

The movie overall is rougher than some other commercially released documentaries we’ve seen (such as An Inconvenient Truth) but it’s very entertaining and told me quite a few things I didn’t know, despite living in California. Definitely recommended.

It’s not a good sign when Darin and I walk out of a theater rewriting the script.

I really wanted this to be good. I’ve wanted a fun popcorn movie that I could totally enjoy for a while, and I come away sorely disappointed all the time. That this film has gotten so many plaudits says more about the competition out there than about its own qualities, unfortunately.

This movie is ostensibly a sequel to Superman II, and it attempts to bash our heads in with that fact by quoting the original Superman. Repeatedly. Literally quoting them—Darin listed several lines that were straight out of that film (and, I guess, Superman II). And the story’s just not particularly interesting—Lex Luthor’s dastardly plan has to do with real estate… which is, of course, also right out of the first film.

To give you an idea of how weird this film is in terms of plot and characters, there’s a scene where Lois Lane, her cute little tot in tow, stumbles into Lex Luthor’s hideout. In the midst of Lois interviewing Lex about his secret plan, a Major Plot Revelation dawns on Lex about his captees. (If you haven’t figured out this particular plot element by this point in the movie, there’s no hope for you.) Imagine the hold over Superman this would give him! So what does Lex do?

He leaves Lois and company on the boat, ostensibly to drown. Not that he makes sure of that, mind you; he just assumes it. Or something.

Huh. Isn’t that in the List of Things an Evil Overlord Should Avoid Doing?

The movie is also hella along: they could have and should have trimmed at least a half hour from this flick. It has, as Darin put it, three endings.

Brandon Routh: never really appealed to me in all the pre-publicity, but he’s okay in this film. Also: cute.

Kevin Spacey: good in the few scenes he has, but he doesn’t really have all that much to do.

Kate Bosworth: oh, was she in this movie too? I didn’t think she was as bad as some reviewers have made out, but Pulitzer-prize winning journalist, I think not. (Of course, if Judy Miller can get one…)

There are definitely some good things in the movie—the sequence with the airplane and space shuttle is very exciting. (Although that’s our introduction to Lois, and it’s not a very mythic introduction.) But on the whole…I have no desire to see this flick again, and, not that I have the time or anything, but I really, really want a flick that I’d at least be tempted to see twice.

Anyone who gave this movie over one star, come over here so I can slap you with my leather driving gloves.

What’s wrong with this movie? Just about everything, starting with the story: a drug manufacturer has come up with a “cure” for the mutant X gene that will turn mutants into normal humans, and they’re going to make it available to any mutant who wants it. The bad guy, Magneto (Sir Ian McKellan), doesn’t believe for a second that use of this medicine is going to be voluntary — this means war, so he bands together a bunch of mutants to destroy the source of the cure. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Storm (Halle Berry), Beast (Kelsey Grammer), and some other X-Men want to stop him.

Anybody see the problem with this?

You have a major story problem when your bad guy is right.

The story of this movie asks us to believe not just in an alternate world, where mutants exist, but an alternate humanity, where they’d be allowed to exist one minute more than necessary. We’re supposed to equate this anti-mutant feeling with run-of-the-mill prejudice, but y’know, most despised minorities can’t, as the President says, move cities with their minds.

Okay, beyond the story, we have the script problems. Such as the big set piece in Act 3, which is heavily featured in the trailer, but which I won’t spoil. Sure, it’s big, and sure, it’s cool, but it doesn’t make any freakin’ sense. This is the best way for Magneto to achieve his aims? Wouldn’t it be better to launch his invasion stealthily, stop the anti-mutant cure, and then do the big production number? Or at least consider this beforehand?

And then, beyond that, we have the most amazingly horrible dialogue in recent cinematic history. Film students should be forced to study this movie as an exercise in trite, on-the-nose dialogue. I leaned over to Darin and said, “They couldn’t have afforded a dialogue pass on the script?” Just to, y’know, liven it up a little?

And the way everything is suddenly hunky-dory and sweetness and light at the end? I haven’t felt that disgusted at the wrap-up to a movie since we were supposed to believe that everything was all right at the end of A Clear and Present Danger because Harrison Ford was testifying to Congress. After the gigantic battle in Act 3, anyone would ever trust a mutant again? Idon’tthinkso.

Seriously awful stuff. Avoid.