Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

A simple guide to the Curly Girl method

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I mentioned recently that my hair has been endlessly awesome of late—I basically never have a bad hair day any more. The reason I’m not posting pictures is that this does not necessarily apply to my stunning good looks, unfortunately. (I want to get some nice portraits of me taken, which means “not via the cam in my MacBook Pro,” which is how I have been doing it.) A few people have asked me HOW I have managed to get such amazingly awesome hair.

The simple answer: The Curly Girl method.

I have had decades of hating my hair. From my mother pulling it unmercifully when combing it out to the other girls at school asking (yes, literally), “Did you stick your finger in a light socket?” to the heartbreak of split ends, I loathed my hair. When I was 10 or 11 I actually cut my hair off because I was so tired of being made fun of for having frizzy hair. The only time it behaved was when I put it up in a ponytail or tight braids. I never had long hair because long, frizzy hair is basically a one-way trip to Roseanne Roseannadanna-ville. To grow my hair one inch vertically requires about two inches of actual hair.

Since I’ve gone all-in on Curly Girl, I think my hair has grown 5 inches and it’s past my shoulders now. It’s shinier, bouncier, and, yes, curlier than ever. I’ve even gotten a bonus side effect I wasn’t expecting, but which I’m absolutely sure is a result of my new hair care regimen. (I’ll put it at the end of this blog post, under the TMI section.)

You can read all about the Curly Girl method in Curly Girl: The Handbook by Lorraine Massey. You can also read more than you can believe on the method and the products you should use at NaturallyCurly.com (note: I’ve got nothing to do with that site, I’m just a satisfied customer). And here’s another pretty good page on how to get started with the Curly Girl method from WikiHow.

Here’s the basics to get you started.

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Nail polish

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About a year ago, when I started to lose weight, I became very interested in how I looked, both in terms of my clothes and my accessories. I wore belts infrequently before a year ago, because I always wore jeans that didn’t need them. They didn’t need them because I was wearing what my friend Nina lovingly referred to as “mom jeans”: high-waisted, unflattering jeans I wouldn’t be caught dead in today. Of course, when you move to medium-waisted or low-waisted jeans, you discover why everyone keeps talking about “muffin top” and why you need a belt for your jeans.

Another thing I started doing was taking care of my nails. I’ve bitten my nails for years. And I started saying, No, I’m going to take care of my hands, so they look nice. This hasn’t been 100%—this week, in fact, I’ve had a hell of a time keeping the stresses of trying to get the house in order off of my nails. But for the most part, over the past year I’ve had very nice nails.

My first point of order a year ago was to buy more of my favorite nail polish, MAC Vino. Alas! MAC no longer made this shade. So I dived headfirst into what was available, trying to find a duplicate. From there, I branched out into brighter reds. Then pinks. Then purples. Then I went nuts and hit my favorite shade, a dark purple/grey named OPI My Private Jet.

While looking for all of these faboo nail polishes, I made quite a collection.

My nail polish collection

And now they all have to stay here until I find a place for them in the new house. Alas.

More about clothing sizes and running

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A couple of months ago I wrote about clothing sizes and how it’s not vanity sizing, it’s how manufacturers deal with their target market. It’s all true, I stand by everything I said. It’s not vanity! There’s no such thing as an archetypal size 8! It’s all based on the market and the sizes of the customer!

But still. These sizes. It’s crazy.

I recently measured myself and I’m basically the same size I was at 22. Yeah, I know: Go Team Diane! But finding clothes is getting hard. I bought a pair of size 4 Gap Long and Lean jeans on Mother’s Days, and they’re somewhat loose now. This body, 20 years ago, I was a size 8, maybe a size 6 with these legs—how in the hell can I be a size 4? Size 4 is for skinny people! And no matter what my running bud Nina says, I don’t feel especially twig-like. It’s not me, it’s the clothes, which is to say, it’s the population.

(What we learn from this is: Anyone who’s kept the same pants size for a decade or two? Hasn’t, if you know what I mean.)

What’s ridiculous is, a size 6 skirt I bought shortly before I got pregnant with Sophia (that would be 10 years ago! gack!) is still tight. And that Calvin Klein skirt (also size 6) I was so looking forward to wearing again? Yeah, it just looks kinda silly on me now—I’m guessing my parts are not quite shaped the way they were, even if they measure the same. Apparently clothing sizes have been adjusted downwards a lot in just the past 10 years. Alas, I am going to have to let the CK go, because I just don’t feel comfortable in it. Wah wah wah.

(And just in case you’re wondering, I have almost the exact same measurements as Marilyn Monroe did, according to this page, except my waist is 29, not 22. I can’t quite fathom a 22 inch waist, frankly. Your envy of Darin’s good fortune may commence now.)

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Nina and I did a 15 mile run today, and at mile 13 she said, “Are you tired?”

“Hell yes, I’m tired. I’m still waiting for my runner’s body to show up and this won’t hurt anymore.”

“I know, I’m wondering where mine is too.”

It’s just not fair that we’re doing all this running and all this training and it’s still hard. A six-mile run feels pretty normal these days; a 15-mile run feels like someone whapped me hard with a tire iron. And over the past several weekends I’ve done: 15 miles, 17 miles, 15 miles, 20 miles, and 15 miles. You’d think I’d have adjusted by now. But no: 15 miles still feels killer.

I’ve got to remember to bring ibuprofen for the marathon, because I need to be proactive on the pain.