I bought myself a seltzer bottle for Christmas. Isn’t it pretty?

At first, I couldn’t make it work. Then I noticed the cartridges not only said “Cream” but also said NO₂ instead of CO₂. (I had those cartridges because that’s what the chick at Williams-Sonoma sold me, okay?) I took the cartridges back, got the ones labeled “Soda,” and discovered they work much, much better.

Normally I drink carbonated water mixed with a slug or two of Torani syrups, available in nearly every flavor you can think of (and even more, if you buy the full-sugar ones — currently i use the sugar free ones flavored with Splenda). I hope adulterating perfectly good water with syrup removes it from my “glasses of water per day” total, but I can’t say that with certainty.

The best thing about making the bottle of soda is, of course, adding the CO₂ to the water. You add the cartridge to the cartridge holder, carefully screw it in… and when the seal on the cartridge is pierced, WHOOMP! The water bubbles up. Then you shake the bottle a few times (to distributed the CO₂?) and you’re good to go.

Now that I have used the seltzer bottle (successfully), I can give you a side-by-side comparison of how the bottle stacks up against a bottle of carbonated water (say, Crystal Geyser) bought at the store:

	Seltzer bottle	Bottle of water
Attractiveness	High	None
Start-up cost	$50	inc. in price of bottle
Price per liter	.50 (assuming box of cartridges at $5.00)	.88 (assuming 1.25 liter bottle at $1.10)
Sodium	As much as your drinking water	Low, but definitely there
Fizziness	On par with beer	On par with soda
Trash left over	One small cartridge per liter(recyclable)	One plastic bottle per 1.25 liters (recyclable)
Liberal guilt assuaged	Much	None

Clearly in the short run it’s much more cost-effective to keep buying the carbonated water at the store, but I much, much prefer using the seltzer bottle. It tastes better, there’s no sodium, and best of all, I’m not filling up our recyclables container every week with four or five bottles.

So if you’re like me and a)like carbonated water and b)like to make your own Italian sodas with Torani syrup, I highly recommend picking up a seltzer bottle. There are both cheaper ones and bigger ones out there, depending on your needs.

We had Christmas this year, and we had it in a big way. We got the tree, we held the dinner, we did the whole nine yards. (The tenth yard was, of course, buying and getting candles for a Hanukeah, because Hanukah started on Christmas this year.) The kids were excited out of their minds about this whole thing, especially after we bought this tree.

Look at this tree. I went out and bought a couple of boxes of generic ornaments, a couple of strands of tinsel, and two strands of lights. And it looks like a naked tree. Clearly over the years I’m going to have to invest in thousands and thousands of ornaments, just to make this thing look like it’s the teensiest bit decorated.

I also got stockings for the kids, which you can’t see on the fireplace because they’re hidden by that big-ass tree. They’re not matching stockings either: each kid picked out their own, and each chose according to personality: Sophia’s stocking is glittering and gold, and Simon’s is funny with a little Christmas scene across the top. In the morning both kids came tearing downstairs to see what Santa had left them — when offered the possibility that parents buy presents, Simon howled, “Nooo! Don’t say that!” — and both spontaneously yelled, “Thank you, Santa!” Usually I have to remind them of their manners, but for Santa? Anything.

By the way… that mound of presents (which extended around the tree and included my sister’s family’s presents)? Opened in approximately 45 seconds flat by the kids. I remember those days. Good times, good times. This morning I asked Sophia what she liked best about Christmas. She wasted not a moment. “The presents.” Just in case I wasn’t really sure.

On to the dinner.

The past few years, we’ve gotten a sour cream coffee cake from Zingerman’s. but this year we didn’t make our usual Zingerman’s order. But it’s Christmas! We need some kind of cake, right?

Darin and I used to go on dive trips for Christmas vacation. One year on Grand Cayman we found this fabulous rum cake, which you can only buy there. But then I found a recipe on Recipezaar that approximates that cake, and I found some Bacardi Vanila rum (I’ve never even seen this “whaler’s vanille rum” the recipe mentions). I’ve now made this cake twice, and it’s fabulous.

Basic Cake Mix
2 cups cake flour
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, cut into bits
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
For the Cake
1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts
1 (3 1/2 ounce) package vanilla instant pudding mix
1/2 cup milk
4 eggs
1/2 cup whaler vanille rum (Hawaiian-style rum)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Rum soaking Glaze
1/2 cup butter (do not substitute)
1/4 cup water
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup whaler vanille rum (Hawaiian-style rum)

Basic Cake Mix: In a large mixing bowl, combine basic cake mix ingredients. On low speed combine ingredients until the mix is the consistency of fine gravel, and all particles are about the same size. This mix may be contained and stored for up to 3 months in the refrigerator.

For the Cake: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spray a large Bundt pan (12 cup) with nonstick cooking spray. Sprinkle the chopped walnuts on the bottom. Place Basic Cake Mix, pudding mix, milk, eggs, rum, oil, and vanilla extract in a large bowl and combine on medium speed with electric mixer for 2 to 3 minutes, scrape down the bowl halfway through. The batter should be very smooth. Pour into Bundt pan. Bake for about 55 minutes- until fully golden and tester comes out clean and cake springs back. Remove from oven and place on a cooling rack while making the soaking glaze.

Rum Soaking Glaze: Combine butter, water and sugar in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil carefully as mixture boils over very easily. Reduce to a simmer and cook until sugar is dissolved and syrup is well combined and a little thicker. Remove from the heat and add the rum, mix to combine. While cake is still cooling, pour some of the hot syrup on top of the cake, allowing it time to soak in (this may take a few minutes as there will be a lot of syrup). Continue to add syrup until all of the syrup is added.

Allow cake to cool completerly in pan before turning out onto serving platter. This cake is delicate, so once it is turned out, it can not be moved around easily. Can be eaten when fully cool, but even better the next day!

And it is, too.

My mom is a big fruitcake nut, and I kept meaning to pick her up a fruitcake at Harry and David’s. Or order one from Zingerman’s. Or… you know, I could try my hand at making one. Maybe use Nick Malgieri’s fruitcake bar recipe.

Then on My Adventures in the Breadbox I found a recipe for Fruitcake Pinwheels (which comes from Better Homes and Gardens):

Prep: 25 min. Bake: 8 min. per batch Stand: 1 min. per batch Chill: 7 hours

1 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 & 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups finely chopped mixed candied fruits and peels
1 cup pecans, finely chopped

In a large bowl, beat butter for 30 seconds. Add granulated sugar, brown sugar, and baking powder; beat until combined. Beat in egg and vanilla. Beat in as much flour as you can. Stir in any remaining flour. Divide dough in half. Cover; chill for 3 hours or until dough is easy to handle.

Combine candied fruits and pecans; set aside. On a lightly floured surface, roll half of dough into a 12×8 inch rectangle. Sprinkle half of fruit mixture over rectangle to within 1/2 inch of edges. Beginning with a long side, roll up dough. Pinch edges to seal. Repeat with remaining dough and fruit mixture. Wrap rolls in plastic wrap. Chill for 4 hours or until firm.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Cut rolls into 1/4-inch slices. Place slices 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake in preheated oven 8 to 10 minutes or until edges are firm. Cool 1 minute on cookie sheet. Transfer cookies to wire rack and let cool. Makes 92.

To Store: Layer cookies between waxed paper in an airtight container; cover. Store at room temperature up to 3 days or freeze up to 3 months.

I didn’t chop up the candied fruit peel, and as you can see from the picture…I kinda should have. I ruined the first batch of cookies, but we still had plenty afterwards. And they were damn tasty. The ones we didn’t eat I sent home with my mother, so that she could have a little cookie with her afternoon tea. Or her morning tea. Or whatever.

Darin decided to make Brie with a Jezebel sauce. I did take a picture of that, but it was both blurry and icky-looking, though apparently very tasty. I do not care for Brie, so I did not partake of it.

I planned on making Tarte Flambée (which Darin and I had made before, which is kind of a bacon-and-onion pizza) and gougères as hors d’oeuvres. I bagged on making the gougères — I’ll do that another day.

1 pizza dough
1/2 cup cottage cheese or fromage blanc
1/2 cup creme fraiche
1 tablespoon flour
1/4 pound smoked bacon, cut crosswise into 1/4-inch strips
1 small onion, peeled and sliced very thin

Preheat the oven to 425F and light coat 2 large baking sheets with vegetable oil. Divide the dough into four parts, and on a well-floured surface, roll each part into an 8-inch round. Place rounds on oiled baking sheets. Combine the cottage cheese, creme fraiche, and the 1 T of flour and stir until smooth. Cook the bacon in a skillet until some of the fat is released, then add the sliced onion and cook 2 or 3 minutes until onion is translucent. Distribute the cheese mixture evenly between the rounds of dough and spread it to the edges. Sprinkle the bacon and onions on top. Season with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. Bake 12 to 15 minutes, or until crust is golden brown. Serve immediately.

I use cornmeal in the pizza dough I make, which adds an extra bit of crunch to the crust. I also made the dough Christmas morning. Despite all the cooking going on, I had to put the proofing bucket into a pot of warm water in order to push the rise along.

My sister called a few days before Christmas and asked what she could bring for the festivities, and I said, “Oh, I think I have it under control.” And I couldn’t remember a damn thing I was making. I babbled on a little bit and then said, “Well, bring a vegetable plate or something.”

Well, she showed up with a spinach dip. An artichoke dip. A Brie! Plus a platter of vegetables. We had a lovely spread. I said, “We don’t even need dinner.” The guests assured us that yes, in fact, we did. So I went ahead and made it anyhow.

Christmas Eve I made Baltazar’s mushroom soup recipe snagged from The Amateur Gourmet. I doubled the recipe, which was really uncalled for: a single amount off this soup would have been fine for eight adults. But the soup was excellent, filled with lots of rosemary and mushroomy goodness.

And then, for the pièce de résistance: the standing rib roast. Possibly it was a prime rib. Certainly had the cost of a prime rib. Seventeen pounds of deliciousness. Had it been even one inch longer, it would not only not have fit in the large roasting pan, it wouldn’t have fit in my oven. We followed the directions from Roasting by Barbara Kafka, but despite leaving the roast out for two hours it was nowhere near room temperature when it went into the oven.

Kafka said to aim for a 135F reading from the instant-read thermometer — it came out medium rare instead of deeply red, the way I prefer it. So in the future, take the meat out at 125F and let it rest.

Still, even medium rare the meat was utterly delicious, particularly with the horseradish cream sauce. And the creamed spinach (in the cream sauce). And the potatoes in the chicken stock and butter. And the eggy, delicious popovers. Oh yes. Popovers. Yum.

For dessert I turned to the experts: Pascal Janvier, amazing pastry chef. I bought a Belle Hélène chocolate-pear Bûche de Noël, and it was every single bit as amazing as you would expect. I thought about ordering a Tarte Normande, which is Janvier’s specialty, but I’m glad I didn’t: according to Darin, who went on Christmas Eve to pick up the Bûche, there weren’t enough Tartes for the number ordered, and a riot was near to breaking out. Janvier’s work is that good.

Next year I’ll make my own Yule log. No, really.

Anyhow: the dinner turned out fabulous.