Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Archives for June 2006

Bike mania

Posted on June 7, 2006 Written by Diane

During a few conversations I’ve had over the past few months (which, with my current memory, probably means closer to “a year”) I’ve found myself saying, “I can’t wait until Simon’s at the same school as Sophia. Then I won’t have to use my car any more.” Because the school’s within walking distance, and the market is not too much further beyond that. We already walk downtown to go to various restaurants and stores.

A few months back I found myself saying, “Why wait? What would I have to do right now to use my car as little as possible?”

I’m just tired of driving. 90% of everywhere I go is within 5 miles of my home, and I sometimes feel like I’m starting and stopping, starting and stopping, circling for a space, starting and stopping… And after reading a few tomes like Asphalt Nation, Road To Ruin: An Introduction to Sprawl and How to Cure It, The High Cost of Free Parking, Divorce Your Car, and The Party’s Over: Oil, War, and the Fate of Industrial Societies, not to mention watching videos like Robert Newman’s History of Oil, I don’t exactly have blinders on to what I’m doing by driving everywhere.

The big reason I need the car? Kids. Taking Simon to preschool and picking him up. Going to the grocery store with them. Taking them to the park.

So one day I found myself wondering, “So how much would a pedicab be, anyhow?” Not that I’d really do it, of course. But wouldn’t it be fun to think about?

I found Bikes At Work, an American company that specializes in pedicabs and freight bikes. I also found Henry WorkCycles, a Dutch firm that has the coolest cycles — look at this bike and tell me you don’t want to grab a few kids and take them for a spin. But none of the bikes on these pages leaped off the page at me, or, more importantly, seemed like something I could really get into. Onto. Whatever.

Then I came across the Xtracycle. Ooo. Ooooooooo. I saw the possibilities of this immediately, particularly when running across pictures of the bike in use, such as Todd’s tale of “One Mom, Two Kids, Four Bags of Groceries.” I might not be able to use a bike for everything, but it sure looks like I could use it for quite a few more things than I do now.

And then something snapped, and I just went Bike Crazy. Lots of bike blogs (see List o’ Links). Books on bike mechanics, on bicycle history, on bicycle tours cross-country. Bike forums.

I haven’t gotten an Xtracycle yet — for whatever reason, the cash flow gods have not smiled benevolently on me since I first desired one, but as soon as they do, I am getting that puppy — but I have started riding my bike (a Trek 720 hybrid, 17″ frame). I rode it downtown to the post office and then to the park to drop off Sophia’s application for science summer camp. Emboldened by my success (and how much fun I had), I bought some grocery panniers and went to the market. It’s only a mile away, so driving there is more trouble than it’s worth, but it’s a teensy bit too far to walk. I can’t get very much in these two bags, but that’s okay: shouldn’t be buying that much anyhow, right?

(Of course, there is no bike rack at the local market — I use the Handicapped parking space’s sign. There is no bike rack at the Whole Foods either, which is of course the fault of the shopping center’s management but still.)

Yesterday I voted and then went to the market on my bike. Which meant riding up a steep hill in granny gear, and I made it. I was excessively proud of myself for the next five to seven minutes after that one.

Today I went completely nuts and bicycled to the gym. Which is 5 miles away, although it’s over completely flat ground.

Errr… wait a minute. Flat? Not so much, as it turned out. One of the great things about riding a bike (or running, for that matter) is that you experience your surroundings in a whole different way than you do if you’re in a car. I always know the names of streets and the layouts of the surrounding areas better than Darin does, because I’m out there doing it on foot. Today I learned that Highway 9 and Quito are actually really damn hilly, at least if you’re as out of shape as I apparently am. Bicycle-wise, at any rate. It’s amazing how many different muscles bicycling uses than running. Yowch.

It took me 30 minutes to go the 5 miles to the gym and 30 back, which I assume would get faster the better a rider I became. According to my fitness watch, I spent about 500 calories doing these 10 miles. Bicycle 10 miles a day, eat anything I want. And I’m having trouble signing up for this plan? I don’t think so.

What these recent excursions have proved to me is not just that I could switch to the bike for lots of things, but it would be practical. I could take Simon to school the three days a week he goes. I could do the food shopping. Okay, I’d need the car to take the kids to the Rosicrucian Museum, but hey — how many times a week do we go there? (Answer: way far less often than they want to go, that’s for sure. I’m not sure why they like it so much, but they do.) And if I don’t have to spend $60 a week to fill up? Just so much the better.

Now if only our car insurance bill hadn’t crossed our doorstep this morning ($2000, hello — Irony, thou art heartless, wench). Somehow I’ve got to figure out a way to budget in the Xtracycle.

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Filed Under: Bicycles, Health and fitness

The Bellagio of Diet Coke

Posted on June 6, 2006 Written by Diane

Via the Accidental Hedonist, we have the Bellagio fountains re-enacted by 500 Mentos dropped in 200 liters of Diet Coke.

I love the Web.

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Filed Under: Those Darned Links!

X-Men: The Last Stand: the review

Posted on June 1, 2006 Written by Diane

Anyone who gave this movie over one star, come over here so I can slap you with my leather driving gloves.

What’s wrong with this movie? Just about everything, starting with the story: a drug manufacturer has come up with a “cure” for the mutant X gene that will turn mutants into normal humans, and they’re going to make it available to any mutant who wants it. The bad guy, Magneto (Sir Ian McKellan), doesn’t believe for a second that use of this medicine is going to be voluntary — this means war, so he bands together a bunch of mutants to destroy the source of the cure. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Storm (Halle Berry), Beast (Kelsey Grammer), and some other X-Men want to stop him.

Anybody see the problem with this?

You have a major story problem when your bad guy is right.

The story of this movie asks us to believe not just in an alternate world, where mutants exist, but an alternate humanity, where they’d be allowed to exist one minute more than necessary. We’re supposed to equate this anti-mutant feeling with run-of-the-mill prejudice, but y’know, most despised minorities can’t, as the President says, move cities with their minds.

Okay, beyond the story, we have the script problems. Such as the big set piece in Act 3, which is heavily featured in the trailer, but which I won’t spoil. Sure, it’s big, and sure, it’s cool, but it doesn’t make any freakin’ sense. This is the best way for Magneto to achieve his aims? Wouldn’t it be better to launch his invasion stealthily, stop the anti-mutant cure, and then do the big production number? Or at least consider this beforehand?

And then, beyond that, we have the most amazingly horrible dialogue in recent cinematic history. Film students should be forced to study this movie as an exercise in trite, on-the-nose dialogue. I leaned over to Darin and said, “They couldn’t have afforded a dialogue pass on the script?” Just to, y’know, liven it up a little?

And the way everything is suddenly hunky-dory and sweetness and light at the end? I haven’t felt that disgusted at the wrap-up to a movie since we were supposed to believe that everything was all right at the end of A Clear and Present Danger because Harrison Ford was testifying to Congress. After the gigantic battle in Act 3, anyone would ever trust a mutant again? Idon’tthinkso.

Seriously awful stuff. Avoid.

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Filed Under: Movies

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