Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Archives for April 2005

Birthday party overload

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I knew when Sophia told me she wanted to invite her whole class to her party that it would be tough. I mean, that’s a lot of prep. That’s a lot of goodie bags (when did that little custom start, anyhow?). That’s a lot of presents.

A lot of presents.

And kids’ presents! It’s ridiculous how much packaging they have! Sophia had what, 16 people at her party, about 16 presents? We filled two dark green garbage bags with the packaging.

Another little custom I didn’t now about: drop-offs. As in, the parents drop their kids off…and then leave. Wish I’d known about that before ordering enough pizza for the kids and the adults (oops), plus enough cake for the kids and adults (double, triple oops). And we have little teeny refrigerator with tons of pizza in it. Pizza for days! Whoo hoo! It’s like off-campus living!

Anyhow: we are wiped. Darin and Simon didn’t even come to Sophia’s party: he took Simon to another birthday party.

I think this is why you’re supposed to have kids as a fresh-faced 20-year-old: you have the energy for this stuff. Fifteen years on you don’t have quite the same energy for it.

Not an April Fool’s, I think

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All I can say is, I think we left LA just in time:

The police of Los Angeles have recently had a lot of fun, when they were filling out papers to register a series of car accidents. As it turned out, drivers were losing control and running into other vehicles because of a giant women’s pubis, which they could see displayed on the front part of an oncoming car. The LA police started desperately looking for the unfortunate pubis and came upon the tracks of young hairdresser, Nelly Node.

Nelly’s passion for arts made the young woman photograph her own crotch and put the zoomed picture on her Volkswagen Beetle. Nelly decided to use such a shameless method to prepare her college course work, in which she analyzed the art of design. The witty student’s idea worked for the college professors: she was proudly driving her “pubic beetle” until the police arrested the woman.

The court ruled that Nelly’s car was creating a dangerous situation on the roads: the girl had to paint her car’s bonnet over.

The link? Not work-safe. But somehow I have no trouble believing that this car was indeed on the roads.