Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Completely useless psychic powers

Posted on January 19, 2003 Written by Diane

You know, when people talk about psychic powers, it’s always about being able to read minds or able to move heavy objects across a room without endangering your vertebrae. Let me tell you: the only psychic powers I’ve run across have been the ones my kids seem to have.

Both kids have had the Food-Is-Coming sensory awareness as babies. We’re at a restaurant, having a grand old time, everything’s great… When the baby starts to fuss and need to be held, it means the food is on its way from the kitchen. Every time. If the food comes quickly, if the restaurant takes its own sweet time…doesn’t matter. Whatever length of time it is minus about thirty seconds = baby fussing.

Simon has Mommy-Is-Going-To-Sleep clairvoyance. Doesn’t matter when I turn off the light and slip under the comforter—that’s when he decides to wake up and cry and need love. His bedroom is a floor away, so it’s not like he’s picking up any physical clues. No, this is purely psychic phenomena at work.

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