Nobody Knows Anything

Welcome to Diane Patterson's eclectic blog about what strikes her fancy

Archives for October 2003

University arms race

Posted on October 5, 2003 Written by Diane

I still can’t quite wrap my mind around the contradictions of American education. We keep hearing about how lousy the schools are—except when they’re not, in which case they’re highly competitive and everybody’s killing themselves to get into college. Unless, of course, the colleges are killing themselves right back to get the students:

Whether evident in student unions, recreational centers or residence halls (please, do not call them dorms) the competition for students is yielding amenities once unimaginable on college campuses, spurring a national debate over the difference between educational necessity and excess.

Critics call them multimillion-dollar luxuries that are driving up university debts and inflating the cost of education. Colleges defend them as compulsory attractions in the scramble for top students and faculty, ignored at their own institutional peril. And somewhere in the middle sit those who have only one analogy for the building boom taking place.

“An arms race,” said Clare Cotton, president of the Association of Independent Colleges and Universities in Massachusetts. “It’s exactly the psychology of an arms race. From the outside it seems totally crazy, but from the inside it feels necessary and compelling.”

So, most of the schools in America are turning out lousy students—except there are enough good ones to justify these kind of country-club amenities?

I don’t understand this picture.

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Filed Under: Schoolhouse Rock

Scientists explain cookies

Posted on October 3, 2003 Written by Diane

Now it can be told: Why the cookie crumbles:

Scientists in Britain have discovered why biscuits seem to break so easily.

Using sophisticated laser techniques, physicists at the University of Loughborough, in the north of England, found that a biscuit develops “fault lines” a few hours after it comes out of the oven.

As it cools down, it picks up moisture around the rim, causing it to expand — while at the same time, moisture at the centre makes it contract.

The result is a build-up of strain forces which pulls the biscuit apart, making them vulnerable when handled, moved or packaged.

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Filed Under: Odds and Ends

Ah love oo

Posted on October 1, 2003 Written by Diane

We’re getting into some extremely unpleasant nighttime rituals around here—screaming, crying, no one going to sleep until at least 10, sleeping all day as a result, lather, rinse, repeat…

But last night, I went to fulfill my part of the ritual with Simon and something possibly amazing happened. Simon, who used to go to sleep fairly easily, has started yelling his little head off. After a while I go in and voila! I need to change his diaper. Then I comfort him a little before putting him back in bed, whereupon he falls asleep quickly.

Last night, after changing his diaper, I sat down with him in the rocking chair. He lay his head on my shoulder and held me around my neck as we rocked silently.

Then I am absolutely sure I heard him say, “Ah love oo.”

My mind started racing a mile a minute. Did my baby just tell me he loves me? Is that possible for a little one to say? Could I have misheard it?

Whereupon he said, “Ah love oo ver muh.”

Darin was, shall we say, somewhat skeptical when I reported this to him. It is a complex thought for a 16-month-old to have, let alone express. He could be parrotting a phrase he hears quite often, but it’s not like he said, “Put that down, Simon.” And he’s not talking all that much, so a complex sentence is somewhat astounding, not to mention a complex sentence in an appropriate situation is doubly so.

Still: Ah love oo ver muh. What a beautiful thing for him to say. I got chills.

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Filed Under: Lord Guapo

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